Monastic Obedience
The first step on the way to humility is to obey an order without delaying for a moment. That is a response which comes easily to those who hold nothing dearer than Christ himself.”
Forty five years ago I visited with Gerry, a young gifted sculptor. His mentor was an internationally known older artist who was very challenging to work with. I asked Gerry if it was difficult to work with this man. He said he didn’t care how hard it was. He just wanted to learn all he could learn.
Joseph Goldstein writes something similar in Benedict’s Dharma. He speaks of his teacher who required his students to largely surrender to his style and instructions. The teacher saw that his role was to help awaken the student and he had no interest in debating or pleasing the student. Joseph told himself, “I’m not here to argue, I’m here to learn.”
Both these students listened and obeyed an inner pull and entrusted themselves to a guiding teacher. It was not a mindless submission to another but a conscious choice to listen and to receive from someone who was wise. They exemplify what I strive to be about in my training.
When I entrust myself to my teacher I leave the comfortable and familiar and take a leap into the unknown and the unknown is in my very self. I never know how I am going to be brought face to face with my ego. The teacher points out the obstacles that trip me up. It may be a word that is hard to hear. But something changes in me as I open myself to my teacher’s instruction and wisdom. It is as if she holds open the door and steps aside and if I dare to walk through that door I will find the Divine.
Today I encountered her unexpectedly. During this Lent as part of my training I have committed myself to study, meditation and writing. I say no to just about every thing else and am living pretty close to being a hermit. This morning I received an invitation to be part of an enterprise that very much interests me. I felt torn because I really wanted to say yes to this work but was conscious of my Lenten commitment. I happened to pick up a book and a scrap of paper fell out. Its message was written years ago by my teacher during some retreat or other. I don’t remember when or where. The note said, “Don’t let work overshadow sitting and walking. It’s tempting, I know.” I listened. It was just enough to remind what I am about. I said no to the request.
When I first read today’s quote where St. Benedict says to obey without delay I experienced resistance. It felt as though I was being told to be docile and submissive. I had to go beyond those few words to what he is really saying. He is talking about the love one has for the Beloved and the willingness to do anything for that Love. I believe that is what my teacher wants, for this student to go beyond the small self and to “hold nothing dearer than Christ himself.
Author: Ho Getsu Sen Gen
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